I hate Christmas.
When did this start? I do not know, I think it is quite a recent affection. I think I was happy with Christmas when the kids were young. I think I was happy with Christmas when I was younger. But as years pass, Christmas seems more and more stressful for me. I am not organising anything though, and I should just enjoy the festive period. But no, I can not.
Actually, Christmas makes me sad, depressed and cranky. When December starts, I get organised, make lists, plan, set up deadlines, and promise myself that I will enjoy myself, that I will not ruin it for everyone else, that I will keep an open and kind mind. All of this should be easy: I just have to find presents for everybody (not a large family), pack my bags and fly to my parents’ home. Everything should be smooth and easy.
Is it due to my expectations being too high? Is it me being unable to relax and just enjoy? Is it some old family history creeping back? I so wish that Christmas was off the calendar, I cannot wait for January 2nd when the year is new and fresh, when anything is possible, when I can promise myself to make everything nice and better… until next Christmas.
Forgive me if I do not wish you a Merry Christmas, I prefer to wish you good health, supporting family, wonderful kids, amazing partners, fulfilling projects, peace of mind, good reads, surprises, self confidence, comfort of knowing you have great friends… and chocolate.
To all my readers, thank you for stopping by, thank you for your messages
Until next year, take care.